Yes yes yes! it is back. The reason we all get out of bed in the morning. Pool night returns and we welcomed the Mechanics Maniacs into the den for the opening fixture. Let's go people!!!!
They took the first frame so in came Wayne to pick up where he left off last season. The Eagle has made slot 2 his nest. Winning convincingly, with no dramas. As he left, before anyone else had won, he said “We just need more me”… imagine more of Wayne, disable his uber one account quick. 1-1
They took the next 3 and made it match point. Their team was sensing victory, counting chickens far too early, well the ones that could count that is. They began to extract the urine big time, getting the first telling off of the night from Meg ‘the muscle’ Jackson. Smoking a straight by the pool table, shaking the light, unbelievably poor banter from their cheerleader, who reminded me of one of those fish you walk past and it starts singing, but with less dialogue lines. It was looking like a devastating first pool night was on the cards.
In this situation there was only one name going down next. Shaun had the unfortunate task of playing their top bellend. After a strong start Shaun kept snookering himself, giving top knobhead a lifeline. The cheerleader then called Shaun something which I can’t repeat, because I don’t think anyone should be called pussy after a pool shot. So the second telling off happened when the ref told the fish to stop being annoying, she seemed confused that I called her annoying, but I imagine that seeing the sun rise in the morning blows her mind. Shaun finished with a black smashed home with authority. Most satisfying win of the season so far. 2-4
Tommy is showing no signs of slowing down in his old age and came to the table with bad intentions. Tommy loves nothing more playing with his balls. Knocking them about, spreading them on the table, caressing them in pockets and he quite likes pool as well, with a great beat down making it 3-4.
The champ Deej was ready to show some racists how it is done….oh yeah they were racists, couldnt you tell? Check the Bristol evening Post, trust me. After one shot their guy knew he was getting slapped up like their boy on the front page did. The fear that Deej struck into their hearts was based on generational ignorance, in other words I'm cussing their mums. Deej built up a strong lead and even let one of their team fail to put his cue away, which just shows how classy we are. Deej left the black over the pocket, but with it all there for their guy, he folded like origami and Deej took the win. 4-4
Decider time, and last season's MVP was up next. Gary has aged like a fine wine, whereas their guy had definitely not been using just for men, well I couldn't tell anyway. Gary was on the black, and the top wanker popped up again and tried to put Teacher G off. Black missed. Here comes telling off number 3, and it's the best. So paraphrasing Lemmy 'remove yourself or refrain from talking' and guess what, he fucking did, pussy…which in this case is apt! With his tail between his legs, top dickhead had to watch what happened next. In an extreme power play, Gary approached the table, assessed his options, then went back for a sip of his drink, went back to the table, lined it up, then potted the black to rapturous applause, table thumping, shouts of MVP, cries of top of the league and thats how we do it! What a comeback. 5-4
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Next fixture: 15/10/25 Away vs Mertion Massive (supreme on Feeder Road)
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